peace, patience, love, healing/restoration, guidance, clarity, strength, joy…
peace, patience, love, healing/restoration, guidance, clarity, strength, joy…
This weekend…something EPIC happened.
I was backed into a corner and forced to answer a series of open honest questions regarding a goal of mine that I set at the beginning of the year. This goal was purposefully designed to be BIG and BOLD, and as a result the goal had a very large revenue figure attached to it. The open honest question I was asked was, “… is the dollar amount associated with your big bold goal realistic?”
I knew it wasn’t achievable by December 31, 2012; however, there is not a doubt in my mind that this passion project won’t yield indescribable fortunes in the future. After about ten minutes of 6 people grilling me as a means of getting me to re-frame my goal, another open honest question was asked, “…what about the revenue portion of your goal doesn’t resonate with you?”
Jackpot! It hit me.
For the past 60 days I have intensified my self study. Yup you read that right…I hired a life coach and having been spending an extraordinary amount of time studying myself. Getting answers to questions like: Who I am? What do I want? What do I value? What is my purpose? I’ve been studying myself, and getting really clear, specifically on my values. Why? Because it all starts with what it is that we value. I’m talking values deeper than family, friends and happiness…yep, much deeper. More on this some other time.
Back to my breakthrough moment
So I’m in the hot seat. I’m confused. I’m anxious. I’m pissed off at myself for having not set aside the time prior to our meeting to re-frame my goal before arriving. Had I done that, I could have avoided this agonizing series of questions (the best form of medicine I might add). And the worst part about the entire experience was this mind chatter…this old voice inside challenged me over and over again, trying to fire up my competitive spirit. The spirit that wouldn’t back down in the face of a challenge. The spirit that would never admit that something is not achievable. But the more I heard this voice telling me to keep it up there (the revenue figure), another voice was emerging. My own.
I processed the question, “…what about the revenue portion of your goal doesn’t resonate with you?” and speaking from my core with conviction; from a place only accessed through truly knowing myself, my values, and what’s really important to me, I was able to say without fear or shame,” the reason this revenue figure bothers me, is because money is and has never been one of my core values. At the end of the day…this is not about making a dollar, but making a difference. And if we do what we’re supposed to do, and create a community of advocates that are engaged and really living this message, then the revenue will come, at the right time, in the way that it’s supposed to.”
MORAL OF MY TRUE STORY
If you want to live an extraordinary life, get crystal clear on your values. Let them be your guide. Because with persistence, patience, and faith, it is possible.
It’s official…I’m taking the scenic route through life and it’s effin’ amazing!
Throughout our lives we have been taught that happiness is a destination. That in order to be happy we must accomplish our goals and dreams in the shortest amount of time possible. We put enormous pressure on ourselves to be, do or have that which society says that we should have, do or become by a certain age.
We have a choice. We can follow the path society has placed before us or we can chart our own path. In charting our own path we acquiesce to taking life’s scenic route: where we let go of our past, tuck away or image of the future, and use the values that we hold close as our guide. The best part about the scenic route is that life magically unfolds and we can enjoy it for what it is…a beautiful journey filled with wonder, surprise and adventure.
While my actions would say quite the opposite, I find myself struggling with being patient. It’s like I can’t wait for “it” to happen, yet I can’t even clearly articulate what “it” is. Don’t get me wrong, I have visions of what I want. I know what I want my life to look like, and what changes (internally) must be made so I can live as my most authentic self. But have I really sketched out the long-term vision of my life? Not fully. There are things that I know that I want to have in my life, like four seasons, children, love and laughter, but can I describe my life 30 years from now? Not yet.
I’ve started this process many times. Got the great idea in a leadership or personal development book to really get clear on what I wanted my future to look like, and immediately took action describing it. Whether it was a vision board or filling in answers to questions in a hardcover book…I took action. However, I took action, describing my short-term future of the next 1-5 years. I took action, having only a fuzzy image of what I wanted my long-term future to look like. Even worse, I took action having not studied myself long and hard enough to articulate my values. How could I create a future without knowing what I stood for and what values I embodied at my core so that I could live my truth?
I think the reason many people (experts included) skip the step of discovering our values is because it requires a shit ton of hard work. Plus we have to ask ourselves some really scary questions. So now I find myself (after having answered the tough questions and crystallizing my values) moving slowly and cautiously though life, clinging to people and ideas that in my gut I know can only move me closer to the work that I have been called to do.
When did I get so structured? So regimented? Is this one of my strengths: taking action and committing? Yes.
But the more important question is: what is my long-term vision for my life?
Not only do I want to be inspired. I want to be an inspiration to others. Perhaps that’s where my little patience problem kicks in. Still unclear on this, but open to exploring.
One thing’s for sure…I’m relieved to know that inspiration and patience don’t have to be opposing forces. As I recently learned, when you inhale (inspire) you have to exhale (patience). So long as we take the baby steps and use our heart as our compass we’ll be well on our way… even if our patience could use a little work.
Sounds selfish. Counter-intuitive. Genius.
It’s quite simple really. Take care of yourself and you can give so much more.
We need you to use your superpowers on a daily basis. We need you to show up as your best you everyday. You can’t do this if you are not taking care of yourself. I’ve had to learn this the hard way. Giving giving giving. Burning out and then not being able to enjoy the fruits of all this gracious labor.
If you don’t put yourself at the top of your priority list, you’ll get to a point where you’re not showing up well-rested, energized, and ready to use your superpowers for maximum impact. You’ll show up tired, dragging, potentially irritable and this is a dangerous combination; especially if your labor is out of love and for a cause greater than yourself. It’s not about you…or is it?
Don’t cheapen your gift. Take care of yourself.
Is this easier said than done? Yes.
But I never said it would be easy.
There’s always this distance between where we currently are (here) and where we want to be (there).
At the beginning of 2012 many of us set out to accomplish BIG things. New Year’s Resolutions, 30 before 30 lists, vision boards you name it! They were created. There was energy and excitement around what 2012 would mean to so many of us if in December, we accomplished what we set out to do back in January. Some of us may have made great progress, while others fell off the wagon early in the first quarter. But here’s the great news! It’s the second half baby, and it’s anyone’s game. This year can still be yours for the taking so long as you recommit to your goals, stay focused, and get really clear on why you’re going after what it is that you want. You see closing the gap gets easier and easier the more honest we are with ourselves as to why we want what’s on the other side. What’s your motivation? Why do you want it? Once you’ve answered that question (why do you want it?)…it’s up to you to be hell bent on closing the gap.
Remember, there is always something you can do today, that will move you closer towards your end goal. You just have to take action.
When we create the conditions for silence and are truly present in that space: we give ourselves the gift of hearing our own voice.
Is it really a sacrifice when you choose to do something you love verses what others deem as more fun? For the longest time I’ve described myself as a “nerd,” “boring,” or even “lame.” These words often came before I admitted to someone how I liked to spend my personal time/weekends: reading, writing or volunteering. Oftentimes we hear successful people say things like, “ohhhh well back then, I decided not to go to a party but worked on xyz for free on my Friday nights…I made sacrifices then so I could have this opportunity that I have now.” I think at a deeper level, these folks really weren’t making a sacrifice at all. Like me, perhaps subconsciously they wanted to maintain some degree of coolness by making it seem as if they would have much rather been at a party verses knee deep in the work that makes them come alive. I beg to differ.
We were all put on this earth with a gift. A talent. A superpower that should be used for the greater good of mankind. But somewhere between elementary school and the real world, society has rewarded the average. Those who have been compliant order takers in a system designed to reward those who do not have to think. They just do what they are told. They’re not asked to be creative, and they’re not asked to harness their superpower. The system is designed for the average. But I’m here to tell you that the game has changed my friend; even though…the system has not.
Ready to be an outlier?
Let me cut to the chase. In order for you to live an extraordinary life. The life you dream about during your day job and get stirred up over when you see someone else living your dream lifestyle… you have do to one thing. You have to use your superpowers on a daily basis to create that life. You can’t create it…if you’re not using your superpower.
That life is here…waiting for you. You just have to use your superpowers to get it.
Don’t know what your superpower is?Don’t worry. My dear friend Brandi and I are here to help! We’re offering a free 30 minute online course – yeah I said free To help you discover your superpower so you can design your own extraordinary life. But it’s being offered over at my other playground www.yogenyus.com and it’s this Thursday night (June 7th) at 9PM EST. Information about the online course can be found here:
If you’re interested sign up! The worst thing that could happen is in 30 minutes, you could connect with some awesome people who are ready to harness their superpower in order to break free and we’ll finally get to meet (virtually that is)! You’ll even get a nice workbook to help you quickly discover your superpower.
This is my personal invite to you! I would love to get to know you
Join us this Thursday night at 9PM EST.
“The power is yours!” – Captain Planet
If you can’t make the course, but are still interested in connecting or hearing the information at a different time let me know. Leave a comment, or call me on my cell at 313.300.0774
Can’t wait to connect!
Make Today Count
When I was in high school I remember coming across a quote that read, “excuses are for people that don’t get things done.”
Dr. David Schwartz in his book The Magic of Thinking Big, talks about a serious illness called excusitis. He basically says that people who are average or mediocre tend to have excuses for why they can’t go after achieving their dreams and goals. They have this disease which leads to failure or complacency called, “excusitis.” Simply put, these folks always have an excuse as to why they can’t get something done. They often say things like: “I don’t have the time. I don’t have the money. I’m not smart enough. I didn’t come from the right family.” All of this is bullshit.
Clearly I’m fired up!
I don’t have all of the answers and I am guilty of having made excuses in the past for not chasing my dreams and potential. But you know what? Something inside me changed. I started to own each and every decision I was making. No longer would other people chart the course of my life. It is mine for the taking and guess what?…I’m taking it, AND YOU CAN DO THE SAME!
All you have to do is get out of your own way and declare that YOU can and will make your dreams come true. Cause you know what? No one else is going to make your dreams come true: ’cause their too busy working on their own dreams or are running on their hamster wheel and don’t seem to want to notice that there’s more to life than “just getting by”…or “hanging in there for a few more years.”
Stop hiding behind excuses because you’re afraid of failure. Just Do It – says Nike…and if you fail, who gives a shit? At least you (unlike the rest of the hamsters) got off the wheel and tried to make something happen.
If you’re fired up and are ready to take responsibility for your life, own each and every one of your decisions like the freaking grown up that you are, then leave me a comment and let me know I’m not the only one. Cause one thing’s for sure… I sure as hell don’t want to hear anymore excuses.
And seriously…if you want to start taking control of your life and need someone to talk to because you don’t even know where to start…hit me up via e-mail at email@example.com – I’d love to talk to you! Just do me a favor and make the subject line: “I want to get off the hamster wheel.”
Make Today Count!